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March 9th 2009 & 3:02am] |
Went to my first campout/festival this weekend in St. Augustine. It was the Harvest of Hope, put together to help out the migrant farm workers.
Met some of the most life changing people and everyday felt like an eternity. It was so nice to get away from my everyday routines and scenery. I ate delicious food, had the blackest feet on the east coast, met a spiritual healer/shaman and some conversations I knew would have come up in my near future.. Ate some mollies, ate some fungi, ate this Avocado wrap that totally blew my sense of taste out of this world, ate dirt, ate up life and lived in the moment every moment for three days straight and had the perfect vacation. There's only so much I can write about it but I was there and had the time of my life.
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March 2nd 2009 & 12:10pm] |
Man I'm all over the place.
At least I can laugh it off.
I can safely say that I'm pretty damn happy at the moment.
I played a couple sets at a Benefit for Autism/Art Show last night, it was great!
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March 1st 2009 & 1:42am] |
I've given up on love.
It's the most selfish thing anyone could ever feel.
You give and receive nothing, you get it all but you won't give any back.
I never needed a girl to keep me happy but you sure know how to make my mind race.
Always under the illusion that the next girl I meet will be the last one.
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February 28th 2009 & 6:02pm] |
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck.
I've never felt like such a failure in my entire life.
I got withdrawn from Full Sail. Long story, basically I got the boot for 9 months and I have no idea where my life is headed or what I'm going to do.
I could stay and work, which is what I want to do. I'm sure I'd be motivated to finish school after getting back into work and having a steady paycheck. Things were starting to come together..whaaaaaaaaaaat the fuuuuck??? I'm so lost.
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February 22nd 2009 & 4:01am] |
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I'm so tired of sleeping alone.
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February 20th 2009 & 10:07am] |
Whatever was here seems to have left.
My whole world feels like it's falling apart lately.
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February 13th 2009 & 3:13pm] |
All is well in my life!
It's all balanced, problems way down at the bottom; they'll get theirs.
I'm genuinely happy.
It's been long enough.
Thank you for coming into my life, couldn't have been anything but perfect timing.
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February 9th 2009 & 4:28pm] |
I am so confused?
All these straaaaaaaaange, I really mean fucking strange things are happening to me everyday.
It's not even anything I can talk to people about.
Everyone is so full of doubt and caught up in science and proof versus faith and what the fuck are you going to do when God starts messing with your shit?
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February 9th 2009 & 1:13pm] |
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What do you want from me?
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February 8th 2009 & 3:09pm] |
What did music sound like before you listened to it?
You ever feel like you can fill in the blanks/what comes next's when you listen to a new song for the first time?
Or even watching a movie?
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February 8th 2009 & 12:34am] |
I want to wrap myself up in everything that is living, every possibility and opportunity to live and to feel alive and to have the time of my life. I want to shake people and tell them all that shit is ok, and it's always going to be ok.
Today has been one of the best days I've had in my life, ironically it was spent mostly by myself.
Let's let this blow up, no more holding back and let it be what it has the potential to be.
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February 7th 2009 & 9:22pm] |
As crazy as it may sound I think I've found god?
Not your typical Holy Bible 'God'.
Not your green paper.
Not your tv.
Not your six armed fuck.
God is there when I let go of all of my worries and lose myself in the moments that seem to last forever.
He's there when I really need it the most, denying that there was something bigger and much more powerful than I'd ever be took me through the deepest lows I'll ever experience and now that I can accept things for the way they are it all comes together.
Hakuna Matata.
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February 7th 2009 & 4:58pm] |
Standing in the aftermath of a self destructive phase, a year of self loathing.
Lost my ego and surrounded myself in negativity.
I lost my will to care about anything and to let anything care about me.
I feel so refreshed.
I can finally live.
Thank you?
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February 3rd 2009 & 11:48am] |
I'm the same as I was when I was six years old
And oh my God, I feel so damn old
I don't really feel anything
On a plane, I can see the tiny lights below
And oh my God, they look so alone
Do they really feel anything?
Oh my God, I've got to, got to, got to, got to move on
Where do you move when what you're moving from
Is yourself?
The universe works on a math equation
That never even ever really ends in the end
Infinity spirals out creation
We're on the tip of its tongue, and it is saying
We ain't sure where you stand
You ain't machines and you ain't land
And the plants and the animals, they are linked
And the plants and the animals eat each other
Oh my God, and oh my cat
I told my Dad what I need
Well, I know what I have and want
But I don't know what I need
Well, he said, he said, he said, he said
"Where we're going, I'm dead"
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January 31st 2009 & 10:17am] |
I have to put my cat to sleep.
Fuck.
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January 30th 2009 & 1:58pm] |
I have been so content with everything lately, everythings falling in place.
We'll see how long it lasts, I'm going to try to hold on to it but sometimes you just have to let go you know?
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January 28th 2009 & 3:50pm] |
"The appearance of 11:11 is an always beneficial act of Divine Intervention. It tells you that it is time to take a good look around you and see what is real and what is illusory. It's time to pierce the veils of illusion which keep us bound to an unreal world. You have been chosen, because you are ready, to step into a Greater Reality. To lead the way for others into a new way of living, into a Greater Love. To ascend from duality into Oneness. The 11:11 is the bridge between duality and Oneness. It is our pathway into the Unknown. " from Solara & the 11:11
Repeating numbers, meeting people from past lives, synchronicity, twin souls; My spiritual awakening?
Everything happens for a reason.
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January 24th 2009 & 9:03pm] |
Oh yeah I started drawing again, it's been....two-three years since I really tried to do anything with it.
 so random..haha
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January 24th 2009 & 1:47pm] |
The past two years with you were the best I've had yet and it could have went on but I am at a point where I can't do this any longer. These next couple of months are going to get crazy with my last couple of classes and I can't apply myself emotionally or make commitments to be in a relationship, especially being long distance. I really hate that this was the end of it but now isn't the right time; I need to grow and move on from my past and let my future unfold as I continue to do what I feel is right now.
On to the next path in life..
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January 2nd 2009 & 12:41pm] |
This year is going to be really, really, really monumental for my life.
Shit is going to change as soon as I get back to Florida.
No more denying life.
No more depression.
No more wasting time.
No more hiding behind my bubble of comfort and safety, I've got way too many ideas and things I want to get done and I've just been too scared to break out into something new.
Concepts for four albums, t-shirt designs and more huge poster drawings, two jobs, sell myself and my skills and make a million dollars..from there its all smooth riding. I'll come back to this every now and then.
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jaretridesbikes's journal
